Closer
by Taylor Divine
Summary: The visor always gave everything a strange tint, as if the world was enveloped in a purple haze. Tonight she would take that away. She hoped the world was pretty behind it.


Tali paced back and forth in the small hallway. To her left the elevator back down through the Normandy's levels, and away from her nerves and worries and fear. To the right Shepard, and Shepard's room and well whatever lay for them after this. Tali clutched a small case across her chest. She smiled for a brief second, thinking of Mordin, such a nice person. She found it odd how the doctor had such a pragmatic, yet charitable view on life. He had come down to Engineering, told her how John had questioned him on Quarian cross-species relationships and discreetly given her a black box.

Daniels had turned and asked what he was doing and Mordin simply replied "Personal check-up. Tali'Zorah suffered suit rupture on the Alarei during our visit to Quarian fleet."

Daniels had simply nodded at that and accepted it as surface value. She would have to thank the doctor for that later. After this.

Tali still looked at the door. Thoughts, bits and pieces of doubts fled through her mind. What if he changes his mind, what if it's a bad time, what if I do get really sick, what if...if he doesn't want me?

Tali bounced on her feet again, leaning backward then forward. She briefly remembered an old saying that Ashley had told her once on the SR-1, Ashley who had started seeing her as a little sister, Ashley who died for Kaidan.

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained Zorah. Do you mind if I call you that?"

Tali hadn't and she had seen Ashley as a friend, almost a big sister back then. She wondered what she'd say now?

She'd say it was worth it.

Tali walked forward into Shepa- John's room and closed the door.

John looked up from the data-pad he was reading and smiled.

Tali spoke up first.

"I've" she breathed again, say it once go just do it "I've taken some immuno-boosters. That's all prepared. Were of course different species so pregnancy is nothing to worry about. Not that I wouldn't want to have a child with you Shepard, I mean John.

"Oh, it's just that I'm nervous and when I'm nervous I talk it's a defense mechanism and it's stupid and I've tried to break the habit, but I'm rambling again aren't I Shepard. I'm sorry I just want this to work, so much, not that I'm desperate but-"

John had simply listened the whole time, smiling lightly and finding the whole thing adorable. Now however he stood up and grabbing the case gently from her, placed it on the nearby couch. He briefly looked down to grab a vial and apparently,Tali thought, Mordin had told him what to take, as he took a swig and placed it back.

John smiled at Tali again and reached up to her face and touched her mask. The seals came off easily enough and Tali heard the suit depressurize.

Please let it work, please let it work. Ancestors watching please make him happy. I just want him to be happy. With me. Please like me Shepard, please still want this. Tali's thought's raced and jumbled together, prayers and pleadings meshing into one.

As the mask came off, Tali let out a squeak and her hands flew to her face. John laughed and calmly grabbed her hands and pulled them back.

Tali's eyes were shut tight and she only saw the swirling blackness of her eyelids. The cold of the ship bit at her face, nipping at her cheeks and nose. That alone was completely foreign, temperature that wasn't consistently regulated.

She then felt something else. A gentle finger running down her side. She smiled at that, and leaned forward yearning for touch. She felt John grab her and pull her close, and she melded to his shape.

Then she felt something wonderful, lips, skin!, touching her gently on the nose. She wrinkled it, the feeling foreign and she heard John say quietly, almost like a whisper, "so cute."

Just one sentence, a phrase really and it meant everything for Tali. She was "cute"? Cute was what she thought John was when he was wearing his uniform, what she thought the hamster that was in the cabin that stared at her when she tapped her fingers was, what Joker said drunkenly about Asari strippers.

What she heard parents say to there kids, and couples to one another at restaurants. "Cute" was love and John thought Tali was..."cute?"

Tali had never seen herself. At least not as an adult. Once a Quarian got there first exo-suit they rarely took it off, except for sexual intimacy or serious medical conditions, she had never experienced either of those before. Well until now.

John pulled back and looked at her. Tali was breathing heavy now whether through nervousness or arousal she didn't really know.

Tali eventually worked herself up to talk.

"I guess, that uh, you like what you see?" she said quietly.

John laughed and as he laughed he started to strip down. He threw his shirt over his head and Tali blushed at him in a simple undershirt. John certainly was...toned. He turned back to Tali.

"So how do we do this?"

Tali looked puzzled at first, but realization soon dawned on her.

"Oh, oh yes. Um, well the helmet and then you can start with the suit."

John smiled and lifted the back of the helmet. Stuffed in and flattened down was Tali's hair. John ran his hand through it, causing Tali to lean forward into him.

She nuzzled into his neck, simply feeling him run his fingers through her hair, his hand scratching at her scalp.

When John stared to peel at her suit itself she stopped. He was, they were, going to sleep love, make love sounded better. Oh Ancestors, what would Mother have to say about this. Father had always been distant, so the only one she had to talk about this to was Auntie Raan. And she had always went about it in the context of finding a nice "Quarian" man. She had no idea how humans did it. Or she did she had researched somethings on the extranet, but this was the real thing.

John began unclasping the belts around her waist and when they came off her cloth shawl and cowl loosened more.

John lifted her hood and pulled her hair out of the suit. It lay messily around her shoulders, while John gently pulled out the tangles.

He reached down to her hands and looked for the glove's seams. Tali picked up his hand and guided it to a specific stitch. He began pulling at it and the glove separated and came off. He followed with the other one. Tali stopped him.

"What's wrong?" he looked up like he had down something wrong, something he'd be yelled at for, but Tali smiled to reassure him.

"There's a needle, it injects medicine, immuno-boosters, painkillers, things like that. Take the seam apart on the outside of my arm and I'll do the rest."

John carefully started to pick the seams apart and when it was undone Tali turned her arm over and carefully slid the glove off.

John took Tali's hand and gently ran his fingers over the tracks that needles had etched into her skin. Tali winced slightly at his touch and curled her fingers.

He took her hand and brought it up to his mouth and kissed it, before taking both hands and bringing them to his face. Tali ran them over his face, caressing his cheeks, his jaw and smiling as she touched his faint stubble, something she had felt when they kissed on her cheeks and chin.

John grabbed her shawl and pulled the elaborate fabric off. He carefully folded it and placed it on his desk.

"What now?"

Tali looked down and remembered. The experience of John being simply able to touch her hands, run his fingers through her hair, kiss her! It was amazing and John wanted to go all the way. John wanted to give her everything. She loved him. For everything.

"The clasps down here. It takes my boots off."

John knelt down and flipped the clasps open, then slipped her feet out.

She stood up for a second feeling the cold floor, the metals smoothness. This was what walking barefoot felt like? What would it be on sand, grass, water! Taking a real shower, or even better a bath! And non-Quarians could do it everyday. Even the Volus had a planet, one they voluntarily left. The Quarians had nothing.

She sat back down and John felt for the seam on her side. He found it and started to peal it away. Tali stopped him again.

John almost smiled. "What another needle?"

"No" Tali said. "Just a catheter. Actually."

John was quiet for a moment and she could tell he was putting two and two together, and quickly his mouth opened with a small "Oh. Yeah. I guess that's right. I should have probably known. Sorry."

Tali shook her head. "No. Don't be sorry. There's no reason."

She stood up and moved the suit a little. John looked down as she did it and soon it was out.

She sat back down and grabbed his hands "Keep going."

John made to peel the left side of her suit off again and made his way down to her thigh. She felt his hands brush against her lower leg and felt how warm they were. She liked that.

Soon the seams were undone and the rest of the suit came off the entire front and back half, was folded neatly by John and placed on the sofa.

Tali was naked now and her shyness had returned as she curled up on the bed in John's sheets. It felt wonderful against bare skin.

John pulled his undershirt off and slipped his shoes and socks off. He pulled his pants down and folded them up on the table. Tali blushed at John wearing only underwear and laughed. John turned to her and smiled before crawling in and pulling that off.

"So how do you want to do this Tali? What exactly did you have in mind?"

She looked over at him.

"Um, well uh. Can you... uh" Tali bit her lip and John felt that she probably did that a lot when he couldn't see.

"Make..." Jack used more crude words. "Uh,will you please just, make love for,with me John. But slow because I want to go slow, because, it would it would mean more. And gentle because obviously, I am, I'm a virgin, you know...or don't I don't know if this might be your first time either, but if it's not then I guess you'll know already, right?"

John smiled again.

He leaned down and kissed her on the lips,before moving slowly downward along her jawline, and down to her collarbone. He bite down gently and Tali arched her back and squealed. He laughed again and started to push his hips down into hers. She thrust her hips upward and John met them, lowering himself over her.

She felt him slowly enter, and she clung tight to his chest. John started kissing her as he slid further in deeper and heard Tali yelp.

"Sorry. I'm sorry Tali. Are you okay?" He started kissing her face and lips, and rubbing her shoulders.

She pulled him in closer.

"It's okay. Just keep going. Don't worry. It hurts, but just a little bit."

John nodded and she held on to him again as he pushed in a rhythm, slowly while Tali held him closely right against him.

She bucked her hips into John and though John kept going slowly, she picked up pace. After a while she finally screamed again and John stopped.

"Are you okay Tali? Do you want to stop?" he asked while looking worriedly down at her. She smiled and shook her head.

"No John. Keep going. Your doing everything completely right."

She kissed him again and he resumed looking more confident. He pushed his hips down and Tali at first weakly matched him, but soon she felt herself get closer, much closer than her nerv-stem had ever taken her.

She started bucking less rhythmically, her grip slackened and her eyes drooped, half-lidded.

She started breathing louder, almost hyperventilating and her grip slackened. John placed her down and kept going, methodically yet slowly. Tali kept breathing quickly and only barely bucked her hips up against John again.

She lay back and closed her eyes, while John lay over her and she grabbed onto him. She felt him lightly kiss her earlobe and then heard him whisper "Let go, Tali. Don't worry I'm holding you. Just let go."

She smiled again and let herself relax, let herself into John, into the bed, the feeling. She let out several breathy moans and bucked her hips again and again into John. He simply held her the entire time. She felt herself blink away tears in the corner of her eyes, still coming down, her hips still slightly jerking upward.

John brought his hand gently to her face and wiped them away. He kissed her on the forehead and then again on the lips.

Tali frowned slightly as she came down from her euphoria.

"John, what about you?"

He smiled and kissed her again.

"Your always looking out for me, aren't you Tali?" He sighed laughed again and started pushing down again and Tali held him by the wrists and when he started grunting and moaning Tali hugged him, trying to be there for him, because he had for her. It was obviously different in some ways. John hadn't had pain in any way.

He lay down next to Tali and pulled her in closely.

He brought his hands down to her arms and gently held her hands. They were fragile and small in so many ways, yet the way he saw them fly over machinery down in the engines, how she deftly moved them around the heat and metal of the core. How she had gripped him tightly just a few minutes again.

He held them now, gently rubbing her palms with his thumbs, just feeling them, looking at them. Tali was falling asleep and as he pulled her closer, spooning her and planning to fall asleep as well.

Before he did though, Tali asked him a question.

"Shep- ,John what are we know?"

John looked quizzically at her, before asking "What do you mean what are we?"

Tali yawned and continued. "You know. Our relationship."

John smiled and pulled Tali even closer, trying to cover her up and bringing there sheets in close around them.

"I'm your boyfriend and your my girlfriend. My Quarian girlfriend."

Tali softly laughed, a lullaby that he could fall asleep to and brought his arms around her holding them tight in her own.

"Then I'll never leave you again."

The cabin was quiet. On the desk the starlight played off a reflective piece of glass. Looking into it someone could see there own reflection, there own face.

**AN: So yeah, here's my imagining of the ME2 romance scene. I try to only give a vague image of Tali as though I'm okay with the picture in ME3, it still upsets me that they basically went "LOL copy+paste internet." If they had simply designed there own character model and used that and it ended up looking just like the picture they did use I'd be okay. But no take some Google stock image of someone random and yeah that fits. At least she's what from Uzbekistan, so that vaguely makes sense concerning the Quarian's accent. Whatever hope you guys like it. **


End file.
